In other news, check this out:


I just made a new music review site, entirely on whim. Well, not really; I'd been planning to for a while. Just seemed like the right time, I guess. It's probably got something to do with recently discovering some really great music. I've been stuck in a music rut since last summer, until this quarter. I guess all those shows really got the music appreciation juices flowing. My concert schedule this quarter is definitely concluded, and it ends up being:

1. The Maine
2. Lenka
3. Death Cab For Cutie (with Cold War Kids, Ra Ra Riot)
4. Young Love
5. Her Space Holiday
6. Iglu & Hartly
7. Sun God (NERD, Girl Talk, Sara Bareilles, Augustana, Motion City Soundtrack, Iron and Wine, so many more!)

... and that's it. I missed out on: Forever the Sickest Kids, Rooney, Shiny Toy Guns, Mae, Jens Lekman, We Are Scientists, and People Under the Stairs. I almost made it to 3 of those but something came up or I changed my mind at the last minute. I'd say that seven shows a quarter isn't too shabby though. I shall be sad over the summer, when shows cost money and I don't live right next to them!

I'm starting my third paper in a row for this week. It's a "personal marketing plan," where you have to basically write down how you will position yourself as a product to obtain your career goals.

Like, we're supposed to write how experienced, awesome, amazing we are - basically what you would say to an interviewer.

I had an interview three hours ago.

For some reason I feel like writing this before would've helped. Now my interview memories must be dragged from the corner of my brain reserved for Traumatic Instances. Some people keep memories of child abuse and rape there, I keep my interview memories there.

Basically, my interviews consist of me giving punctual answers (I'm not very verbose in these situations, sadly) until the holy grail of interview questions, the "why should I choose you over other more qualified/awesome/cool people" comes along and I become a blabbering mess, torn between sticking up for ME and simply saying, "You have a point. If there is someone better than me out there, then obviously they deserve this position more, since they'll do it better." What comes out is usually a hem-hawing laundry list of "positive character traits" that gets cut off as the interviewer sees I'm headed nowhere. Though thankfully my interviewer was as friendly as they get this time around.

Now I shall dig up the ghosts of interviews past and integrate them into my personal marketing plan, titled "What I Should've Said: A Belated Confessional."

If I came off emo or whatnot, I'm not. Just quite frazzled with too many things to do. I just thank the powers that be it's Week of Sanity around here. Will listen to an upbeat song and start paper. Don't look back, just keep moving forward!

Stop comparing yourself to other girls, no matter how pretty, clever, cool or cashed-up they are.

No one will ever have your unique twist of talents, perspectives or beauty.

You do enough. You have enough. You are enough.

Stop comparing yourself to other girls, no matter how talented, well-dressed, popular or capable they are.

You improve the world more than you can possibly comprehend, just by being true to who you are every day.

Go outside & be fabulous. Watching who you are, & seeing what you’re becoming, makes us so proud to know you. The world delights in your presence. We all love you very much. -- Gala Darling


I always go back to this quote when I'm feeling down. I've got it printed out and posted on one of my inspiration boards, but it's not enough. A permanent teleprompter that constantly flashes it in my face would probably be the best solution. By the way, Gala Darling's entire site is pretty amazing; it's got cupcakes, unicorns, and pink! Highly recommend it, especially for articles like this one and this one.

This time, I'm cutting the hormones some slack and saying that the world has to take at least 75% of the blame. Perhaps it's because the end of the year is fast approaching, and I'm looking back, seeing how far everyone has come while I seem to still be stuck in a sort of semi-stasis. And maybe it's more than that. It comes down to the fact that I need more gumption (as Scarlett O'Hara would say...) but can't seem to put aside my meek personality. It would be so nice to be able to throw self-consciousness out the window and not have to deal with it for a good long while. I'd like to be the Scarlett O'Hara type, but I'm not sure I've got it in me... maybe my mom was right (though I hope she's not). Is it right to change or is it better to be "true to myself" despite my dislike of how I am right now? I'm not sure!

Listening to this on repeat again. Psych taught me that forcing yourself to be positive actually works. Simply turning up your cheeks (to mimick a smile) has been proven to put people in a better mood. Will get on that right now, along with my Lindt truffles specially bought for the task of making me feel better.

And if you read all that, you're awesome. I've still got so many happenings and ideas to write about, but it keeps not getting done... At least I'm done with midterms (for better or for worse) and have more free time now!

I wandered across some amazing shots of Cupertino while browsing around flickr. I'll admit, I miss home a lot right now. I miss the feeling of having people around who care if I eat my fruit, clean my room, or come home too late. I want to be able to wander down familiar streets, not really knowing where I'm headed but eventually hitting up all the familiar haunts - the library, Vallco, Jollyman Park, Target, and the list goes on. Part of it's also being sad that I'll probably never have another chance to waste my days away wandering around doing nothing; I ought to be getting an internship or a job (which I am getting to doing, if my current duties would just stop for a day or so). Frankly, I miss being able to mooch off my parents shamelessly; nowadays, I know I'm too old for that and each day the feeling that I've got to haul myself up by the bootstraps and start working my own way up in the world gets stronger. It's weird, but lately I've felt like an awkward teenager pretending to be a capable adult, doing adult things like organizing my time, attending meetings, and taking responsibility for stuff (vague, but you get it). It's all stuff you were supposed to learn way back when, but that sort of stuff was always forced on me by the parentals that I sort of just learned to accept the powers that be and go with the flow, with the aim of being as lazy as possible while I was at it (a bit of rebellion, maybe?). Anyway, the point is that life's a-changin' and I miss the old carefree days that actually weren't all that long ago.

Busy busy week ahead and behind me already. I have been making lists upon lists upon sublists of Things To Do and am actually scared to write it all down, but it will need to be done. I'm technically done for tonight, though I may venture out to wash my blankets/sheets. Cleanliness is good, as the swine flu is apparently down here, and everyone is a sick anyway. Yeep.

Death Cab is tomorrow as well! I'm scheduled for 10:30AM, except that I've got class and recall not signing up for morning hours... But I'll take what I can get if it means getting in for free (though I will be paying $30 for MMW lecture notes now that I'm going to be missing again... haha guess it balances out). And guess what? Shiny Toy Guns is playing here free next Friday! I just found out that they don't have their old female vocalist anymore. There's a new one and a new sound, but I liked their old style better...

And don't forget Sun God on 5/15. Yes, I actually intend to make it to all of those shows (I'll plead obligations- volunteer related and attempting to mask my extreme antisocial behavior as-of-late related) and somehow manage to study for everything and do other club stuff. Thank goodness I'm not super stoked for Indie Jam this year, otherwise I'd be sad for missing out. Though I'm pretty sure nothing can beat last year's experience with Flogging Molly/The Hold Steady/MGMT/Cold War Kids/The Ting Tings/Santogold, weekend before finals and all. Not to mention my friend was awesome and kept the crazy dancing lady and moshers off while I was front center to Flogging Molly. Cause I always end up next to the crazy dancing lady.

It's fourth week, I'm behind again, and spring doesn't quite feel like spring yet. Summer plans need to be made (will be going home), but I have no idea where to start. Mostly because while I know where I want to eventually get in life, I have no idea what I want career-wise. Yeah, this was a random entry, and I'm a bit fairly stressed.

Tonight's kind of a lazy one, my excuse being that I've got to sleep early in order to wake up for an Important Meeting that's happening at 9 o'clock tomorrow morning. Considering that this entire quarter I've gotten into the habit of waking at 11:30AM, I need to be in bed early so I can avoid arriving at aforementioned meeting groggy and croaking. (Good to know I still have some dignity left.)

It's nearly the end of Week 8 and I need to make a finals study schedule for the next two weeks, but my mentality couldn't be further from one of studying. I'm currently craving books, and I spent a good part of this evening coming up with a small reading list!


nyxt highly recommended Paper Towns to me in her latest letter. So after my psych experiment today, I headed over to the bookstore, grabbed the only copy they had, and planted my ass in front of the teen fantasy/sci-fi section for a good while. The verdict: utterly engrossing! I'm only 50 pages in and can't wait to go to back there to continue. Reminds me way too much of high school, though in a good nostalgic kind of way. A search for the cover image brought me to Nerdfighters, which is apparently a social networking site for nerds that the author, John Green, is affiliated with. He does reader Q&A videos, the most recent being this one posted two days ago:
Made me laugh. I wonder how much this would apply to MV. How to define nerdiness in a school so inherently nerdy we had nerd hierarchies and sub-orders? Mr. Green also demonstrates his obvious lack of personal experience with nerd boys in regards to romance when he touts their virtues so enthusiastically at the end. Hmm. Moving on...

Next up is The Thirteenth Tale and The House at Riverton - both obviously inspired by the Bronte sisters and Daphne DuMaurier, to my delight! I've just been craving gothic-style romances, and these two seem to fit the bill perfectly. I know The Thirteenth Tale has been floating around bestseller's shelves for the longest time too, and I can't believe I didn't notice it sooner. Guess it's just my old habit of glossing over the bestsellers and heading directly for classics and fantasy.

I'm also currently making slow progress through George Eliot's Middlemarch. Slow progress because it's a hefty volume to carry around, otherwise I'd be reading it everywhere I went if it were pocket sized. So many books, too little time!

WARNING EXCEEDINGLY LONG AND VERBOSE POST!

It's been (quite) a while since my last update... A lot has and hasn't happened that was worth blogging about, though I always got lazy and just never got around to writing about it... I'm the writer who is too lazy to write. (Sloth is my worst enemy. The animals are cute though!)

Since I actually have plans to be out more for the next couple of weeks, I figured I'd document my trips and make it seem like I actually get out these days (which I don't... especially since these past few weeks have been midterms galore). Getting more acquainted with SD was one of my goals for this year, and it's one of the few that I managed to more or less follow through with, albeit a little unintentionally most of the time.

So, today I present... Downtown La Jolla! It's ridiculous that it's only a 15-20 minute bus ride away, yet I've never actually taken the chance to go and explore till today. However, I quickly realized that there actually wasn't much to explore... Walking up and down the main street reveals many pricey boutiques and popular mall chain stores (ala Gap, Banana Republic, Talbots, etc.) though there were a few unique spots worth checking out.

downtown La Jolla and the ocean	inside The Living Room
yummy mocha + Warwick's goods + planner	tried to get the cup, but forgot to use macro

First off, I headed to the Farmer's Market at the local elementary school. Although I'm quite familiar with the flea market/swap meet setup (having lived half my life next to the De Anza one), I've actually never been to a pukka farmer's market - the tiny one they have at school on Tuesdays doesn't count! Size-wise, it was a bit small and cramped, though its selection has a good variety of produce/food/merchandise.

After that, I walked back up the street and found Warwick's, an independent (yes, independent!!) bookstore/stationary shop. I found it through yelp while looking for stationary shops. For those who aren't aware: I've recently redeveloped a horrible pen/pencil addiction and am constantly on the lookout for new snazzy writing implements. The only options lately have been the school bookstore, Staples (too 'office supplies' oriented... ugh), and Target - all of which have exhausted my interest. So yelp poops out answers to my search for stationary and off I go!

When I got there, Warwick's turned out to be a nice and friendly bookstore-slash-stationary-shop. The environment is browse-friendly, so it made sense that there were quite a few people inside doing just that. The place definitely caters to the stereotypical La Jolla clientele, making me feel a little out of place beside all the moms with school-age kids and elderly couples. Staff is very friendly overall. As for the pens/pencils selection, it was decent... but nothing blew my mind and I could've found most of it at the school bookstore. What I like is that they sell single pens, so you can test them. They also carry 'fine writing instruments' ala Mont Blanc, Lamy, etc. for hardcore pen enthusiasts who spend hundreds on those things. Prices are reasonable for an independent bookstore. I ended up getting a pad of pretty lined paper and 2 pens. Book-wise, I didn't see anything that caught my attention; Warwick's focus seems to be more on 'contemporary adult fiction,' which I don't tend to read.

After my writing implement curiosity was satiated, it was time for some real food... coffee! I realized that The Living Room was just down the street. Oh, how I love cafes! This one was the perfect mixture of coffee and homeliness, though I don't think I'd make it a regular study spot (aka a second home). Online reviews say that it's one of the only spots open past 8pm in the area, so it tends to crowd. Apparently it also turns into a bar/hookah lounge at night, which I can imagine would be uninducive to studying. According to their cup (featuring an old lady and a punk?) there's going to be one opening on campus soon... Which means I HAVE SOLVED THE MYSTERY OF THE MYSTERIOUS SOON-TO-OPEN COFFEESHOP ON THE 2nd floor of PC! Which means it wasn't really a mystery in the first place...

I'll say that I was surprised at the smoothness of my mocha (take a hint, Starbucks, make one that doesn't taste like tar please). Food and drinks are on the pricier side, so I won't be frequenting it, but maybe for the rare treat... Apparently Pannikin, which I passed earlier, is even better... so I might have to try that one next time!

Once my caffeine was obtained, I proceeded to wander back in the direction of another bookstore I'd passed earlier - DG Wills. Rated as one of La Jolla's top bookstores, of course I had to check it out! It turns out it's this quaint little shop run by an enthusiastic guy who keeps the most eclectic and interesting stock of books. There are used and new sections, but browsing is not for the faint of heart. The shop itself is pretty small for a bookstore, and shelves are crammed up to the ceiling and shelved two books deep by genre and author. You will find aging gilded leather bound editions of Vanity Fair alongside the latest trade paperbacks. Shelves are jammed close together, sometimes so close that there's only about a two foot wide aisle, and the aging brownness of it all combined with the the dim lighting and musty aroma of so many books evokes a sort of fear and awe that is hard to describe... I think of it as something like Belle's amazement upon discovering the Beast's library crossed with claustrophobia.

What was even more phenomenal was the fact that they had a copy of Elizabeth Gaskell's North and South! I have this weird habit of judging bookstores by the number of my favorite books they carry, and until today, I haven't found any that carried North and South except for this one, and they even got my favorite edition right! (Penguin Classics) I ended up getting it, seeing how my only copy is currently on long-term loan to a friend. (I seem to have a habit of lending out my favorite books only to never see them again... sadness!) Anyhow, DG Wills is definitely the place to go if you're looking for an author's more obscure works that the mainstream bookstores tend to gloss over. You may even be able to find them well-aged and cheaper in the used book section behind the secret door.

And to conclude, here's what I wore today, in my first ever "What I Wore Today" post:

~ black military jacket (Target)
~ black cardigan - under jacket (Forever 21)
~ maroon long sleeve shirt - under cardigan (Forever 21)
~ jeans (Target)
~ orange/yellow scarf (Marshalls)
~ grayish-brownish tote bag (from Japan via Taiwan. my great-aunt originally got it for my cousin, who didn't want it and left it with my grandma, who gave it to me)
~ black Converse

The end! And if you read all that, thanks!... I don't know what else to say. -_-"

So yesterday I was stuck in a UGH-my-life-is-going-nowhere mood. So I made a list of goals for Fall Quarter to get my life on track, and I felt surprisingly good afterwards. Guess I'm a list person, haha. Anyway, I liked my list so much I'm posting it. And yes, I write about myself in the third person!

The Great Uplifting List of Things to Do Fall Quarter (and Possibly Beyond)

Academic/Career related
- Find employment and don't settle for a job you know you won't enjoy or help career-wise. (ie. taking out the trash)
- Focus on schoolwork (at least some hours outside of class each weekday must be spent doing work!)
- Figure out the deal with double majoring. Schedule appt w/counselor?
- Don't procrastinate as much.
- Actually THINK about your schoolwork. Some of it is actually quite fascinating.
- Get involved in more school clubs. (Tzu Ching, maybe an Asian club?)
- Live and breathe AS Programming.

Habits
- Don't spend excessive amounts of time on computer aimlessly browsing.
- Save money and spend wisely.
- Don't buy new clothes for Fall Quarter (exception: thrifting and accessories or things that absolutely need replacing. and limit this to once a week.)
- Keep in touch with old MV/Cupertino people.
- Get in the habit of writing letters.

Health
- Learn to cook.
- Eat proper meals to cut down on snacking.
- Find new ways to excercise (start running again?)
- Look into rec classes.
- Wake up early enough to get properly clean and properly dressed for the day.
- Sleep by 2AM each day. (except weekends and those pre-midterm/final/paper nights)

Fun and Hobbies
- Work on developing personal style.
- Actually update blogs. On a somewhat regular basis. This one's going to be hard, lol.
- Explore Downtown, Old Town and other places in SD.
- Listen to more new music, be open to new stuff.
- Go to shows! Especially the ones on campus.
- Party occassionally.

Personal Behavior
- Be social and make more friends.
- When meeting new people, don't try to impress them by being who you think they'll like; rather, be yourself.
- Don't lie, make excuses.
- Don't feel obligated to explain yourself to others with what they'd like to hear. You are who you are.
- Be more grateful/thankful and gracious.
- Be polite to all but not a pushover.
- Offer to help others when you can.
- Know when to say NO.
- Try new things, nothing is taboo unless you believe it to be! (exception: when you're being unwillingly pressured)
- Change your outlook only for yourself. (exceptions: work, important meetings, etc.)
- Love and appreciate those who haven't done anything to not deserve it.
- Don't be afraid to speak your true opinion.
- Acknowledge that if someone just randomly no longer wants to talk to you, it's probably not your fault; rather, they've moved on with their life. Grieve over it a bit and then get over it.
- Don't be afraid of impromptu events/happenings! Life is like that.
- Don't be afraid to deviate from routine. Again, try new things.
- Take the time to be introspective and weed out negative habits. And then get rid of them.
- Be grounded in yourself/know who you are as a person and what you want before making any large emotional commitments to anything/person.
- Don't fall for anyone who doesn't meet all your standards.
- Take unfounded negative words/feelings with a grain of salt.
- Realize that you are awesome, in your own way. Very much so.
- Realize the above for everyone else too.
- Surround self with positive people to create positive atmosphere.

Final Note:
Realize that everything is cyclical. Bad times must occur in order to appreciate the good times. During bad times, try working toward the good, but know that sometimes you can't really do anything because some things are out of your control. If you don't seem to be able to get out of a rut, try not to attack the problem directly, but to focus on other aspects of life and let things on the sucky end straighten themselves out. And always remember that the good times are coming. That's karma.

The end! And for those who aren't aware, I'm going to a college psychological well-being camp (weird, but I don't know how else to describe it! Bliss and Wisdom College Camp does't say much...) later this week. Good timing, I'll say.

http://www.csmonitor.com/2006/0719/p01s03-ussc.htm

Necktie Etiquette 101, from Christian Science Monitor. No, I don't usuallly read the site, was simply referred to that article from Yahoo. But I was all, wow, speaking of the devil, because a few days before, I had made, lo and behold, A TIE!


The panda print was from the JoAnns clearance; I saw the thing and bought the whole 5 and 1/3 yards left of it. HAHAHA, it just had to be mine. So now I just have a ridiculous amount of panda print sitting around.

( action shot )

LALALA! I've just discovered LIV KRISTINE'S (formerly of Theatre of Tragedy) SOLO PROJECT! <3 That made my day and Scottish folk Calasaig.

Today was Kaiser-ful again... After a morning of escort and lookin sharp, Tiffa W. and I went up to the 4th floor info desk to chill the afternoon away. Either the internet has been down for a REALLY LONG TIME and I.T. is taking its sweet time getting to fixing it, or they just decided volunteers didn't need interwebs for helping people look up physicians and the like because the internets have no use except for looking up pr0n. Hmm.

THEREFORE. Took a page out of Xuan's book and drew pictures on MSPaint: hanging witches, the hunchback of notre dame, satan himself, and poo! And then Tiffa and I co-wrote a story IN FRENCH of a most interesting and original character, the femme-homme-homme-femme. And then we found out that the hospital had no paper for us, but we still managed to get the stuff printed out on random salvaged papers. OH THE DRAMA. IT BURNS, IT BURNS AHAHAHAH.

And every time someone walked past the info desk, we'd look up to see if they needed help, and they'd all say something along the lines of "AHAH! CAUGHT SURFING THE NET!" or "CAUGHT PLAYING GAMES!" And I so badly wanted to say, "NO, WE ARE DEPRIVED OF ALL INTERNETS AND GAMES, THANKEE. WE ARE WRITING A FUCKING FRENCH STORY KTHNXBYEBBQ.

The Story Itself in All of Its Own Glory: behold my not so masterful use of the French language, and Tiffany's 1337 AP skillz.
http://www.fictionpress.com/read.php?storyid=2211679

I want to see the new POTC. Ding.